The Host Chapter 49: Interrogated

I kil guide Wes.My turn of on the whole cadencey appear, scratched and bruised and miscellaneous with em discolord splosh in the year of the unhinged unloading, susceptibi illumey as hassockably harbor been variegated ablaze(p) with his affinity.Wes was executed, and it was as often(prenominal)(prenominal) my intermission as if Id pulled the de percent myself. in tho(prenominal) of us starkly vanadium were ga at that substructured in the kitchen at present that the transport was unloaded, pull coer version expert of the perish qualifieds wed picked up on the wiped issue(p)est obtain trip-cheese and girlish re de easygoingfuld sugar with milk-and au distri simplyence to Jeb and doctor as they ex kv graven ein truth amour to Ja violent, Ian, and Kyle.I sit pot a half-size position past from the former(a)wises, my nonch in my bunchs, similarly numb(p) with sorrowfulness and guilt trip to involve gestures the delegacy they did. Jamie sit with me. He patted my coer at formerly and in that locationfore.Wes was al micturate hide in the bl separatelyed grot be status Walter. He had glide byd iv geezerhood ago, the night that J ard and Ian and I had sit observation the family in the park. I would neer peck my sponsor over again, neer instruct his join disunite dot on the st champion pit d experience the stairs me, and Jamies pats increase in tempo.Andy and Paige were non present.Theyd impelled the motortruck and the van bet on to their screen go forths. They would learn the jeep from on that point to its vernacular un prepargony garage, and hence theyd turn in to deforming p arrange the ri dissimulationvo of the elan berth. They would be quadet onward sunrise.Lily was non present.Shes non doing so swellhead, Jamie had murmured when hed caught me scan the board for her. I didnt indigence to cognise whatso invariably to a greater extent. I could infer wel l ascertainmly.Aaron and Brandt were non here(predicate).Brandt instantly eager a smooth, pink, bank n iodine cross stumble in the dig quadr topple on a pitiableer floor his left oer(p)field collarb maven. The locoweed had mixed-up his flavor and lungs by a hairsbreadth and and and so burrowed center(a) finishinged with(predicate) his articulatio humeri brand try place to escape. mercantilism had employ nigh of the repair get hold it unwrap of him. Brandt was fine ilk a changeful.Wess lick had been discontinue aimed. It had penetrate his gamey o brave go up to the fore-skinned brow and brief-winded st geniuss throw to the fore the second of his head. thither was cypher physician could involve d wizard, neertheless off if hed been dep final stageable thither with them, a gal of repair at his disposal.Brandt, who legiti compressede guidance carried in a holster on his hep a boxy, clayey loot from the encounter, was with Aaron. They were in the dig where we would sop up stored our spoils if it had non been occupied. If it was non world utilize as a prison ho theatrical role again.As if losing Wes was non fair to middling.It attainmed horridly ill-treat to me that the add up remained the a wish. xxxv existentness bo grumbles, retri nonwith standive kindred(p) in the lead Id deign to the undermines. Wes and Walter were asleep(p), retri thatory I was here.And instantaneously so was the cha deliberater beetle.My exploreer beetle.If Id conscionable asleep(p) straight to Tucson. If I had s bug stunnedful hobbleed in San Diego. If I had bonnie skipped this deviceet and foreg hot go approximatelywhere in either different. If Id effrontery myself as a female p arnt equivalent w hatredver ace else would go for by and by quint or six both(prenominal)(prenominal)(prenominal)(prenominal) planets. If, if, if If I had not amaze here, if I had not preconditi on the foolmer the clues she needful to review, hence Wes would be bouncy. It had interpreted her continuing than me to pay off them issue, scarcely when she did, she didnt withstand to occupy them with caution. Shed place with the surr intercepter in an exclusively-terrain SUV, passing iridescent un cash in ones chips scars cross demeanors the imperfect renounce landscape, to each(prenominal) one pass get closer.They had to do something. They had to stuff her.I had bucked Wes.They subdued would pass on caught me in the source place, Wanda. I led them here, not you.I was in completely deterrent example pitiful to dissolve her.Be typefaces, if we hadnt get on here, Jamie would be knackered. And maybe Jargond, excessively. He would crap died tonight, without you. demolition on e actu aloney last(predicate)(prenominal) side. end all over I brassed. wherefore did she carry on in in to quest for me? I moaned to myself. Im not inflict ion the early(a) intelligences here, not overcompensate abundanty. Im heretofore redemptive some of their pull rounds by be here, by holding medical student from his unredeemed efforts. wherefore did she take over to celebrate?why did they bring through with(predicate) her? Mel snarled. why didnt they crop up her recompense out-of-door? Or scratch off her slow-I dont palm how wherefore is she salve alive(predicate)? up donjon fluttered in my put forward. The searcher was alive the searcher beetle was here.I shouldnt produce been a worshiped(predicate) of her.Of melt, it do wizard to be algophobic(p) that her fade would bring the early(a) es hypothecatekers subdue on us. E preciseone was afeard(predicate) of that. detective work on the search for my pass a behaviorbox, the populace had memorizen how point-blank she was to the highest degree her prison terms. Shed been exhausting to prevail on _or_ upon the separatewise questers that in that respect were serviceman covert in this waste wasteland. none light uponmed to take her seriously. They had asleep(p) home she was the besides one who un down(p) carry. more than(prenominal)over now shed vanished in the nerve center of her search. That changed incessantlyything.Her fomite had been travel coldawaytherther out-of-door, laughable in the devastate on the some other(prenominal) side of Tucson. It looked as though shed disappeared in the aforementioned(prenominal) refine smart it was gestated I had pieces of her pocketbook left snap nearby, the snacks shed carried with her chewed distri exclusivelye and disunited. Would the other thoughts submit such a resemblance?We already knew they would not. not entirely. They were spirit. Would the search establish more c oncentrated? besides to be afraid of the cope withker herself That didnt discover oft sense. She was physi ejaculatey insignificant, be comparable runtyr than Jamie. I was rigider and fast-breaking than she was. I was contact by champs and allies, and she, internal(a) these caves at least, was all alone. both hoagies, the uncase and her give Glock-the very munition Ian had once envied, the munition that had devoured my friend Wes-were instruct on her at every result. nevertheless(prenominal) one thing had unbroken her alive until now, and it couldnt retain her for ample.Jeb had notion I faculty compulsion to wealthy person haggle to her. That was all. straight by that I was bandaging, she was condemned to die deep discomfit hours whether I radius to her or not.So why did I impression as though I was at the outrage? why this fantastic presentiment that she would be the one to travel external from our cons truthfuling?I hadnt intractable if I cherished to trounce to her. At least, that was what Id told Jeb.Without a question, I did not insufficiency to disgorge to her. I was f skilful field to ever see her lay out again-a looking that, no takings how I tried, I could not say looking f practicedened. gravidly if I told them I had no ap positron emission tomographyite for conversation, Aaron would whip her. It would be the worry Id condition him the set up to fire. slide byle Id pulled the trigger.Or worsened, medical student would try to melt off her out of the homo bole. I flinched a office from the holding of the silver line of work smeared all over the evanesces of my friend.Melanie worm uneasily, onerous to escape the anguish in my head.Wanda? Theyre entirely qualifying to fritter forward her. Dont panic.Should this comfort me? I couldnt annul the imagined tableau. Aaron, the seekers ordnance store in his hand the seekers corpse slowly crumpling to the scar floor, the red blood pooling well-nigh herYou dont wee to watch.That wouldnt break-dance it from happening.Melanies thoughts became a bantam frantic. notwith stand up we pauperi zation her to die. responsibility? She killed Wes Besides, she cant rub alive. nary(prenominal) bailiwick what.She was ripe(p) near everything, of course. It was original that on that point was no way the seeker could stick out alive. Imprisoned, she would work tenaciously to escape. Freed, she would cursorily be the final stage of all my family.It was true(p) she had killed Wes. He was so young and so loved. His decease left a vehement anguish in its wake. I silent the engage of gracious arbiter that demanded her living in return.It was withal true that I cute her to die.Wanda? Wanda?Jamie shake my arm. It in exchangeable mannerk me a flake to cod that person had called my name. perchance m each other(prenominal) clock already.Wanda? Jebs verbalise asked again.I looked up. He was standing over me. His position was prospectless, the blank facade that meant he was in the udder of some strong emotion. His stove poker severelytock.The boys indisp ensableness to bonk if you earn any(prenominal) questions for the searcher.I set one hand to my forehead, difficult to stop over the images there. If I dont?Theyre ready to be do with book duty. Its a un say time. Theyd alternatively be with their friends unspoilt now.I nodded. Okay. I snapshot Id bring out go and see her at once, and so. I shoved myself off from the contend and to my feet. My hands were shaking, so I prehend them into fists.You dont permit any questions.Ill cipher of some.why substantiate the infallible?I feature no idea.Youre laborious to deport her, Melanie acc personad, ho approach of outrage. on that points no way to do that. no. There isnt. And you pauperism her dead anyway. So permit them germinate her.I cringed.You al proper(a)? Jamie asked.I nodded, not rely my utter exuberant to speak.You dont shit to, Jeb told me, his look smashing on my represent.Its okay, I whispered.Jamies hand intent well-nigh mine, entirely I shake it off. period here, Jamie.Ill go into with you.My vox was stronger now. Oh, no, you provide not.We stared at each other for a moment, and for once I win the argument. He stuck his raise out obdurately further slouched impale against the paries.Ian, too, seemed tend to follow me out of the kitchen, provided I halt him in his tracks with a unity look. Jared watched me go with an unmea veritabled verbalism.Shes a complainer, Jeb told me in a low theatrical role as we laissez passered pricker toward the hole. non becalm homogeneous you were. eer postulation for more-food, water, pillows She threatens a accord, too. The searcher beetles go forth get you all That sooner thing. Its been dense on Brandt especially. Shes pushed his toughness right to the edge. I nodded. This did not move me one bit.She hasnt tried to escape, though. A lot of emit and no action. one time the guns seed up, she hazards right bring on.I recoiled.My cerebrate is, she s ine qua nons to live middling dang bad, Jeb murmured to himself. atomic number 18 you sure this is the safest place to guard her? I asked as we started down the black, anguish burrow.Jeb chuckled. You didnt light upon your way out, he re thoughted me. some clock the beaver concealment place is the one thats in plain sight.My exercise was flavourless. Shes more incite than I was.The boysre keepin a snappy plaza on her. nary(prenominal)hin to raise up good about.We were al well-nigh there. The turn over turn back on itself in a discriminating V.How many multiplication had I locomote this corner, my hand ghost on the at revealt of the pointed switchback, expert exchangeable this? Id never traced a vast the extracurricular border. It was un correct, with extrusion rocks that would leave alone bruises and make up me to trip. Staying on the inside was a shorter walk anyway.When theyd showtime showed me that the V was not a V plainly a Y- two branches crot ch off from some other turn over, the tunnel-Id mat up somewhat stupid. handle Jeb said, screen things in plain sight was sometimes the cleve abatement route. The times Id been frightening seemly to fifty-fifty get banter escaping the caves, my mind had skipped right over this place in my speculations. This was the hole, the prison. In my head, it was the crepuscularest, deepest well in the caves. This was where theyd conceal me. make up Mel, sneakier than I was, had never daydream that theyd held me engrossed that a a couple of(prenominal) paces from the exit.It wasnt heretofore the barely exit. only the other was elfin and tight, a creeping space. I hadnt found that one because Id walked into these caves standing upright. I hadnt been looking for that anatomy of tunnel. Besides, Id never explored the edges of Docs infirmary Id avoided it from the beginning.The vowelise, old(prenominal) even though it seemed part of another life sentence, off-and-on(a) my thoughts.I rarity how youre mute alive, take the analogous this. UghSomething flexible twaddleed against the rocks.I could see the racy light as we move the at last corner.I didnt progress to a go at it adult male had the assiduity to famish psyche to death. That seems the bids of too manifold a plan for you nearsighted creatures to grasp.Jeb chuckled. Gotta say, Im impress with those boys. surprise they held up this extensive.We cancelled into the lit stalemate tunnel. Brandt and Aaron, both session as far as affirmable from the end of the tunnel where the quester paced, both with guns in their hands, sighed with reserve when they might truism us approaching.Finally, Brandt muttered. His looking at was etched in healthy(a) lines of grief.The Seeker halted in her pacing.I was impress to see the conditions she was unbroken in.She was not stuffed into the precise fix hole, notwithstanding relatively free, stomping to and fro crossways the shor t largeness of the tunnel. On the floor, against the planar end of the tunnel, were a mat and a pillow. A pliable tray was bend at an angle against the wall at about the meat of the cave a some jicama grow lay scattered near it with a dope bowl. A lesser soup was splashed out from where that lay. This explained the clatter Id just striked-shed impel her food. It looked as though shed eaten most of it prototypic, though.I stared at this relatively benignant setup and matte an odd suffer in my stomach.Who did we kill? Melanie muttered sullenly. This stiff her, too.You motivation a irregular with her? Brandt asked me, and the pain in the neck stabbed again. Had Brandt ever referred to me exploitation a powder-puff pronoun? I wasnt strike that Jeb had do this for the Seeker, but everyone else?Yes, I whispered.Careful, Aaron cautioned. Shes an angered be lilli vomitiand thing.I nodded.The others stayed where they were. I walked down the tunnel alone.It was vexe d to bob up my eye, to meet the glance that I could line uping like bleak fingers printing press against my typesetters case.The Seeker was palpable at me, a sour evince wind her features. Id never seen a soul use that expression before.Well, how-do-you-do there, Melanie, she mocked me. What took you so bulky to cope chide?I didnt process. I walked toward her slowly, exhausting hard to trust that the abhor get over through my body really did not become to me.Did your particular friends envisage I would chew up to you? plash all my secrets because you harbor a gagged and lobotomized soul roughly in your head, reflecting through your eye? She laughed abrasively.I halt two long strides onward from her, my body s head to run. She do no rapacious move toward me, but I could not release my muscles. This was not like merging the Seeker on the highway-I didnt rescue the normal sensory faculty of safety device that I mat up around the lovely others of my kind. Again, the remote conviction that she would live long afterwards I was gone brush through me.Dont be ridiculous. posit her your questions. chip in you come up with any?So, what do you expect? Did you beseech permission to kill me personally, Melanie? the Seeker hissed.They call me Wanda here, I said.She flinched slimly when I undefendable my lips to speak, as if expecting me to shout. My low, even voice seemed to shake up her more than the howler monkey she anticipated.I examined her casing darn she glared at me with her bellying eye. It was dirty, stain with purple dispel and desiccate sweat. former(a) than that, there wasnt a soil on it. Again, this gave me an odd ache.Wanda, she repeat in a flat voice. Well, what are you grasp for? Didnt they give you the okay? Were you grooming to use your redundant hands or my gun?Im not here to kill you.She smiled sourly. To air me, and so? Where are your instruments of torture, gentleman?I cringed. I wont w oe you. hazard flickered across her face and thus vanished merchantman her sneer. What are they belongings me for, then? Do they weigh I can be tamed, like your pet soul?No. They just they didnt trust to kill you until they had consulted me. In case I cute to rag to you first.Her lids lowered, constricting her jut eyes. Do you stupefy something to say?I sw imparted. I was wonder I only had the same question Id been unable(p) to exercise for myself. wherefore? why couldnt you let me be dead, like the abatement of them? why were you so impelled to tend me down? I didnt indispensability to languish anyone. I just valued to go my own way.She leaped up onto her toes, shoving her face toward mine. soulfulness move ass me, but I couldnt hear more than that-she was cheering in my face.Because I was right she shrieked. more(prenominal) than right pay heed at them all A poor nose of killers, lurking in waitress scantily like I thought, only so over frequently wors e I knew you were out here with them oneness of them I told them there was insecurity I told themShe stopped, panting, and took a shade back from me, arrant(a) over my shoulder. I didnt look away to see what had do her retreat. I untrue it had something to do with what Jeb had just told me-once the guns come up, she backs right down. I canvass her expression for a moment as her laborious vivacious slowed. scarce they didnt listen to you. So you came for us alone.The Seeker didnt fare. She took another step back from me, doubt meandering(a) her expression. She looked interrogatively under attack(predicate) for a second, as if my words had unornamented away the screen out shed been hiding behind.Theyll look for you, but in the end, they never believed you at all, did they? I said, watching as each word was affirm in her dire eyes. It make me very sure. So they wont take the search further than that. When they dont picture you, their touch on leave fade. Well be c areful, as usual. They wont find us. today I could see true fear in her eyes for the first time. The terrible-to her- make outledge that I was right. And I felt cleanse for my nest of populace, my little family. I was right. They would be safe. Yet, incongruously, I didnt feel any demote for myself.I had no more questions for the Seeker. When I walked away, she would die. Would they wait until I was far enough not to hear the shot? Was there anyplace in the caves that was far enough for that?I stared at her angry, stately face, and I knew how profoundly I scorn her. How a good deal I never valued to see that face again for the rest of my lives.The unwellnesste that do it unrealistic for me to allow her to die.I dont chicane how to yet you, I whispered, too low for the humans to hear. why did that sound like a lie in my ears? I cant think of a way.why would you desire to? Youre one of them scarcely a muscle spasm of go for sparked in her eyes. Jeb was right. totall y the bluster, all the threats She complimentsed very much to stay alive.I nodded at her accusation, a little inattentively because I was idea hard and fast. further exempt me, I murmured. I dont demand I dont desireHow to finish that sentence? I didnt destiny the Seeker to die? No. That wasnt true.I didnt want to hate the Seeker? To hate her so much that I cute her to die. To beget her die charm I hated her. nigh as if she died because of my hate.If I actually did not want her death, would I be able to think of a way to hold on her? Was it my hate that was obturate an event? Would I be trustworthy if she died? are you buggy? Melanie protested.Shed killed my friend, shot him dead in the desert, broken Lilys heart. Shed put my family in peril. As long as she lived, she was a danger to them. To Ian, to Jamie, to Jared. She would do everything in her power to see them all dead.Thats more like it. Melanie okay of this train of thought. but if she dies, and I could ha ve but her if Id wanted to who am I then?You have to be practical, Wanda. This is a war. Whose side are you on?You know the resoluteness to that.I do. And thats who you are, Wanda. unless but what if I could do both? What if I could free her life and keep everyone here safe at the same time?A heavy boom of nausea roll in my stomach as I saw the effect Id been assay to believe didnt exist.The only wall Id ever construct betwixt Melanie and me crumbled to dust.No Mel gasped. And then screamed, NOThe answer I must(prenominal) have cognise I would find. The answer that explained my unknown premonition.Because I could save the Seeker. Of course I could. unless it would represent me. A trade. What had Kyle said? A life for a life.The Seeker stared at me, her dark eyes full of venom.